Strange Sequitur

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TUMBLR.  TUMBLR WHERE IS THE REST OF MY DASH?  WHY IS THERE A “PREVIOUS PAGE” LINK BUT NO “NEXT PAGE” WHEN I GET TO THE END OF PAGE FIVE OR SIX?

TUMBLR.  NO.

copperbadge:

post-and-out:

gyzym:

six fanfictions i am currently craving: 

  • the steve rogers and bucky barnes are really mad about these newfangled bananas show, starring steve rogers and bucky barnes, who are really mad about these newfangled bananas
  • this same fic, five more times

I got three paragraphs into reading the article and never want to eat another banana again

I always think of the old Cary Grant monologue from People Will Talk: 

Sauerkraut belongs in a barrel, not a can. Our American mania for sterile packages has removed the flavor from most of our food. Butter is not served out of wooden tubs, and a whole generation thinks butter tastes like paper. There was never a perfume like an old-time grocery store. Now they smell like drugstores, which don’t even smell like drugstores anymore.

Look, Universe.  I know that I’m not a pretty person.  I don’t need to be attractive, all I want is to not actively scare small children while I’m at work, and you know what doesn’t help with that goal?  A massive subconjunctival hemorrhage.  Just sayin’.

YouTube at Large(r)

edwardspoonhands:

melissaanelli:

edwardspoonhands:

During the MTV Movie Awards, YouTube launched a new initiative aimed to change the way YouTube creators are seen by their communities and by the world at large. I’m not saying that this is a bad strategy or even a bad thing for YouTube, but I think it is worth discussing because it will change…

FYI:

These are also running nonstop in NYC taxis.

Who lives in New York City? The entire advertising industry.

Also Chicago bus stops and Divvy bicycle-sharing stations.  Glad to finally have a context for that.

princeowl:

once one of my straight male friends who has a significant amount of sex asked me ‘when two girls do it how do you know when you’re finished’ and to this day thats one of the saddest things ive ever heard 

Well, I mean… it’s true, though.  Cos of the multiple orgasms and general lack of a refractory period.  (For many but not all cisgirls, at least.  YMMV, etc.)  Given adequate sustenance, you could probably power through for the better part of a fortnight.

Presumably you are finished when someone starts to chafe.

judearaya:

ukeking:

the secret to losing followers is being yourself

true story man

Don’t think of it as “losing followers;” think of it as “weeding out the chaff.”  You still get to keep all the ones worth having.

(Source: yuasashoko)

Getting real tired of your shit, Tumblr.

Getting real tired of your shit, Tumblr.

intrepid-hallucinations:

hooks-and-chains:

avianawareness:

asgardandbeyond:

giraffepoliceforce:

altering-cave:

So I don’t think those free condoms universities hand out suck as much as guys say they do.

Okay, but seriously. If you’re ever considering sexy times with a guy and he tells you that he can’t wear a condom there is a 100.3% chance that he is a liar, and you should definitely not have sex with him. Don’t have sex with liars. Have sex with a cute honest people that bring you ice cream the next morning. Liars do not bring you ice cream. And if they do it’s ice cream made of lies. Ice cream made of lies is very emotionally unfulfilling. Don’t trust liars or their disease-ridden ice cream.

that was the best safe-sex talk ever.

Why I am suspicious of those who say they got pregnant because a condom “broke”… 

HAVE ANY OF YOU EVER USED A CONDOM. HAVE ANY OF YOU HAD SEX YOU KNOW NOTHING ABOUT CONDOMS. SHUT THE FUCK UP. I’m sick of this shit. Just because a condom has a tensile force high enough to withstand inflation does not mean it can comfortably fit any penis. No one wants latex literally stretched against a boner like it is in this pic. A condom that is too small causes added friction which can lead to the condom tearing. If someone tells you it is too small, you LISTEN. YOU DO NOT HAVE RAW SEX WITH THEM. THAT IS NOT WHAT I AM SAYING. YOU GO BUY A MAGNUM. There are even sizes above that. SO NO THERE IS NO EXCUSE TO SAY THAT A PERSON CANNOT WEAR ANY CONDOMS BUT THERE ARE PLENTY OF PEOPLE WHO DO NOT FIT IN CERTAIN SIZES. And whoever the fuck said they don’t believe condoms break is literally fucking stupid as hell. You didn’t even try to think you slut shaming ignorant ass. Condoms do not break from things not fitting in them. They break due to frictional forces without sufficient lubricant and air bubbles trapped in the reservoir tip that push through the latex upon ejaculation. Proper application requires that the tip be pinched to remove this air while it is rolled down the shaft. Very few people know this due to the rampant lack of appropriate sex ed. Proper condom application technique and education is crucial to effective birth control and STI protection. So before you go spouting your ignorant crap, how bout you think about your penised partner and the overall function of a condom and try to spread real education rather than shaming people.

Thank you for articulating what most cannot even comprehend. <3

Yes, good, ditto to the boldface rant above.  But no one seems to be asking the important question, here.

What did you do with the giant condom water balloon?

(Source: wiggllytuff)

unlockaflockofwords:

rynnay:

unclewhisky:

we-the-antisocials:

This is literally what Terry Pratchett wears to conventions. 

What a good thing is Terry Pratchett.

As a rule I have to reblog Terry Pratchett, even if I’ve already done so before.

Seriously, tho: he is our GREATEST LIVING WRITER and if you disagree I will fucking fight you.

unlockaflockofwords:

rynnay:

unclewhisky:

we-the-antisocials:

This is literally what Terry Pratchett wears to conventions. 

What a good thing is Terry Pratchett.

As a rule I have to reblog Terry Pratchett, even if I’ve already done so before.

Seriously, tho: he is our GREATEST LIVING WRITER and if you disagree I will fucking fight you.
doctordisaster:

deepomega:

amischiefofmice:

orfs:

averyterrible:

thisplaceisdespair:

flatluigi:

stormingtheivory:

So can we talk about the absolutely stunning duplicity going on here?

holy shit

ok, why the fuck is the graph upside down. that is incredibly misleading

Because its from the Florida Department of Justice, and they have a mandate here.

for those who have trouble inverting it in their head, ftfy:


this is some of the most blatant twisting of info i have ever seen holy shit

It’s not from the Florida Department of Justice. It’s from Reuters. The original piece which ran this graph had a headline stating that gun deaths had increased. Artist said she chose this layout “to show deaths in negative terms” https://twitter.com/ChristineHHChan/status/455971447169511424

Yeah, good point — Florida DoJ doesn’t make graphs. That criticism from a prior reblog is inaccurate and I meant to rip on the idiot Reuters editor who ran this rather than those guys.
But thanks for that twitter link! To give the full quote:

"Thanks for the feedback. I prefer to show deaths in negative terms (inverted). It’s a preference really, can be shown either way."

Needless to say, that is such staggeringly stupid shit that it should be spread around a bit. Or, alternatively, printed 50 times, rolled up, and used to smack anyone who thinks it makes sense until they see the error of their ways. Bad designer! Bad!
Inverting a graph is not “a preference.” If your zero line is above your graph, it makes your numbers negative, and not in the sense that you are saaaaaad about those numbers. AS IN LESS THAN ZERO.
This is because up does not mean happy. It means more. You always, always, always indicate downward trends with lines that slope downward. This is more fundamentally ingrained than text flowing from left to right. (Some languages write in different directions. Nobody uses “down” to mean “more.”)
The idea that someone with a graphic design job thinks that using a downward sloping line to show an upward trend is “a preference” ranks higher on the stupid-design-o-meter than stationery typeset in Comic Sans on black paper.
This is just as misleading as running a file photo of the wrong event to make your event look better attended.

doctordisaster:

deepomega:

amischiefofmice:

orfs:

averyterrible:

thisplaceisdespair:

flatluigi:

stormingtheivory:

So can we talk about the absolutely stunning duplicity going on here?

holy shit

ok, why the fuck is the graph upside down. that is incredibly misleading

Because its from the Florida Department of Justice, and they have a mandate here.

for those who have trouble inverting it in their head, ftfy:

image

this is some of the most blatant twisting of info i have ever seen holy shit

It’s not from the Florida Department of Justice. It’s from Reuters. The original piece which ran this graph had a headline stating that gun deaths had increased. Artist said she chose this layout “to show deaths in negative terms” https://twitter.com/ChristineHHChan/status/455971447169511424

Yeah, good point — Florida DoJ doesn’t make graphs. That criticism from a prior reblog is inaccurate and I meant to rip on the idiot Reuters editor who ran this rather than those guys.

But thanks for that twitter link! To give the full quote:

"Thanks for the feedback. I prefer to show deaths in negative terms (inverted). It’s a preference really, can be shown either way."

Needless to say, that is such staggeringly stupid shit that it should be spread around a bit. Or, alternatively, printed 50 times, rolled up, and used to smack anyone who thinks it makes sense until they see the error of their ways. Bad designer! Bad!

Inverting a graph is not “a preference.” If your zero line is above your graph, it makes your numbers negative, and not in the sense that you are saaaaaad about those numbers. AS IN LESS THAN ZERO.

This is because up does not mean happy. It means more. You always, always, always indicate downward trends with lines that slope downward. This is more fundamentally ingrained than text flowing from left to right. (Some languages write in different directions. Nobody uses “down” to mean “more.”)

The idea that someone with a graphic design job thinks that using a downward sloping line to show an upward trend is “a preference” ranks higher on the stupid-design-o-meter than stationery typeset in Comic Sans on black paper.

This is just as misleading as running a file photo of the wrong event to make your event look better attended.

unclefather:

250px:

please watch this video

This man is insane

Well this looks like complete bologna.

handsomejackass:

do-you-have-a-flag:

fav person of the day

because actually helping people with cosplay emergencies!

literally the most important man at supanova this year

he gave me double sided tape

what a good human being

Tiny Little Neighbor Child just stepped out onto her front porch and shouted “HEEEY YOOUU GUYYYYS!” at her siblings.  This is probably just general childhood revelry, but I choose to believe that she somehow has an adorable and well-developed knowledge of The Goonies despite the movie being a bit above her age-range and about thirty years before her time.

Apr 9

mojoflower:

greencarnations:

iraffiruse:

Satisfying things

 (via jimthewebspinner)

Heh heh. All the men in my house GET this.

Apr 8
xpsychohogx:

wessasaurus-rex:

vy2cool:

kristrauma:

Not sure you all know this, but Ramsay returned to Amy’s Baking Company, and that episode airs in 6 days (April 11, 2014) 

IT’S AIRING ON MY BIRTHDAY??? THIS IS THE BEST PRESENT EVER

oh lord im looking forward to seeing this 



Amy&#8217;s Baking Company still exists?

xpsychohogx:

wessasaurus-rex:

vy2cool:

kristrauma:

Not sure you all know this, but Ramsay returned to Amy’s Baking Company, and that episode airs in 6 days (April 11, 2014) 

IT’S AIRING ON MY BIRTHDAY??? THIS IS THE BEST PRESENT EVER

oh lord im looking forward to seeing this 

Amy’s Baking Company still exists?

(Source: reddit.com)