Strange Sequitur

RSS

Tumblr app, y u reverse italics and bold? Y u vanish without warning while I’m reading?

- Mental_Floss on YouTube Episode 79: 79 Common Mispronunciations
This is my new reaction gif for whenever I see a video featuring people talking about “Ass Burgers.”  (I’m trying to work my way through my “You should gif this!” folder, but the end results always end up either too fast or too slow.  And how they look in the Photoshop preview vs. in Irfanview once exported vs. in the Tumblr photo post dialog never matches up.  So this post may disappear immediately if it looks like John Green is trapped in a bullet-time slow motion hell once this uploads.)

- Mental_Floss on YouTube Episode 79: 79 Common Mispronunciations

This is my new reaction gif for whenever I see a video featuring people talking about “Ass Burgers.”  (I’m trying to work my way through my “You should gif this!” folder, but the end results always end up either too fast or too slow.  And how they look in the Photoshop preview vs. in Irfanview once exported vs. in the Tumblr photo post dialog never matches up.  So this post may disappear immediately if it looks like John Green is trapped in a bullet-time slow motion hell once this uploads.)

everythingsbetterwithbisexuals:

image

*chokes*

(x)

Wait, didn’t Rose attend that one dance party down on the Poorfolk Level?

sebadasstian-stan:

[x]

awkward-lee:

image

image

image

Blaine proposing to Disney Princesses plus Gaston

I keep forgetting that some of the people I follow also happen to be Rooster Teeth fans.  “Good lord, why does this guy look so much like Bl… oh.”

maccasass:

secretlifeofageekygirl:

So I was watching Supernatural and my dad walks in and all casual says ” Is this the show that your second cousin is in” and I’m just kinda like “ha ha dad very funny” but then he says “No seriously, his name is… Marvin? Mica? I don’t know, something weird like that.” and he just walks away

That’s the story of how I found out that I’m related to Misha Collins and died

#so real talk about much porn do you think she’s read about her cousin

(Source: lucyinthesky451)

everythingsbetterwithbisexuals:

viviandufu:

unwrittensoul:

"We’re living in an era where capturing moments using our phones is more important than actually living these moments with whoever is beside us." 

I love this so much.

Wow, that’s a really impressive drawing of that quote about taking pictures of stuff with your phone.

^^^

everythingsbetterwithbisexuals:

viviandufu:

unwrittensoul:

"We’re living in an era where capturing moments using our phones is more important than actually living these moments with whoever is beside us." 

I love this so much.

Wow, that’s a really impressive drawing of that quote about taking pictures of stuff with your phone.

^^^

lettersfromtitan:

autisticadvocacy:

dysfunctionalqueer:

Alright my fellow stimmers. 

let me tell you about kinetic sand.

This glorious matter is like sand, but it’s soft and flowy and you can shape it and crush it and let it fall through your fingers and feels so soft and wonderful i just want to sleep in it. 

It’s like a glitterjar, but in your hands. 

It’s wonderful and it makes me so so happy. 

I don’t like sand, like beach sand, because it sticks to you and makes things gritty and horrible. 

This doesn’t do that at all!! Like unless your hands are very sweat and you just grind your hands in it, it wont stick. And even if it does, you can just wipe it off. 

It’s wonderful and a gift from the autie gods. 

There’s videos online if you look. 

It’s a little more expensive than most stim toys, looks like 20 dollars for 2 pounds online. My mom picked up a 1 pound box somewhere, I don’t know how much it cost. 

But it’s so fucking amazing, you should definetely pick some up if you can. 

[images of a blueish brownish substance, described above, being played with and molded.]

I am looking at pictures of this and like touching my screen because thing.

We sell this at work, and for months we had little sample dishes at every cash register. Fantastic way to pass that slow first hour after the store opened.  (I looked it up once; it’s basically two of the active ingredients in Silly Putty plus sand.)

BNL needs to keep letting Rooster Teeth make their videos until roughly the end of time.

copperbadge:

notmissmarple:

imaginarycircus:

I live in one of these squished bugs.

This set really exemplifies just how ridiculously useless the DC Metro is, even without incorporating the screwed up schedules, ridiculously slow trains (because they still haven’t replaced the cars with safer ones because money what?), and the regular blood sacrifices that throw rush hour into disarray…

I’m working on a story where the shape of the Chicago El tracks is actually a magical sign intended to keep supernatural evil out of the city. (Plain old human evil is all over this town, but that keeps things interesting.)
Think about that the next time you ride a subway. :D

Are you suggesting that the El is what Aziraphale was doing while Crowley was mucking around with the M25?

copperbadge:

notmissmarple:

imaginarycircus:

I live in one of these squished bugs.

This set really exemplifies just how ridiculously useless the DC Metro is, even without incorporating the screwed up schedules, ridiculously slow trains (because they still haven’t replaced the cars with safer ones because money what?), and the regular blood sacrifices that throw rush hour into disarray…

I’m working on a story where the shape of the Chicago El tracks is actually a magical sign intended to keep supernatural evil out of the city. (Plain old human evil is all over this town, but that keeps things interesting.)

Think about that the next time you ride a subway. :D

Are you suggesting that the El is what Aziraphale was doing while Crowley was mucking around with the M25?

(Source: alexsnotsosecretworld)

Calm down, it isn't that big of a deal that people don't know women don't pee out of their vag, sheesh.

Anonymous

deducecanoe:

vixyish:

afadingoctober:

bam-monsterhospital:

afadingoctober:

Look, it’s our friendly male-privileged anon come to tell me I’m being all womanly hysterical.

I’m assuming you’re a guy. If you’re a girl, and this doesn’t piss you off, I’m a little concerned, honestly.

The fact is that it is a big deal, and you just earned yourself a free lecture on why so siddown and shaddup.

Cracked ran a rather diverting article today on

"6 Insane Sex Myths People Used to Teach as Facts"

including things like how westerners apparently thought that Chinese women who immigrated had sideways vaginas and that doctors attributed any number of problems to the fact that they believed women’s uteri could detach themselves when the woman was not pregnant and scamper around the woman’s innards like some sort of wayward jellyfish blob.
Hilarious, right? Can’t believe people used to think that! Oh, how naive they all were!
Which brings us to women-pee-out-of-their-vagina.
People back then kind of have an excuse for stupid notions, because a lot of the time there wasn’t the technology or research or scientific community to call them out on it in order to spread information that was actually factual.
We do not have that excuse today.
Yes, I heard that, greyface in sunglasses in the second row.
"well we don’t teach ridiculous stuff like that!"
Spoiler Alert: We totally do.
Stuff like the complete erasure of parts of female anatomy, publicly taught and widespread misinformation about others and the fact that I learned more about my own body with 15 minutes on Wikipedia than I did in two mandatory Health classes and a Medical Anatomy class.
Send your arguments at me, believe me, they don’t hold water.
"The clitoris doesn’t have anything to do with reproduction!"
Sex Ed covers more than just reproduction. Every time they sent me home with a little paper for your parent/guardian to sign, they said they would be talking about anatomy as well as reproduction.
"Well, female anatomy is a lot more complicated…"
Doesn’t that mean they should spend more time covering it rather than skipping over the parts they deem ‘unnecessary’? Even in my Medical Anatomy class when we had the diagrams to label, despite there being a clitoris in the diagram, there wasn’t a lil line to write down what it was.
"Maybe they didn’t think it was appropriate to talk about for high school."
Female pleasure.
So lewd.
How dare they.
Get the pitchforks and burn the witch.
"They don’t talk about male pleasure either!"
Bitch, please.
I heard aaaaalll about what happens when a dude is aroused and orgasms with the erections and ejaculations and all that nonsense.
Girl orgasms are apparently not a thing. And, depending on the class, neither was female arousal.
(Which I find decidedly disturbing, as a side note.)
"Female orgasms aren’t a part of reproduction either."
Maybe not.
BUT IT IS A SIMPLE PHYSICAL REACTION THAT SHOULD BE TAUGHT IF ONLY FOR SCIENTIFIC AND MEDICAL ACCURACY.
"Fine. The clitoris is controversial. That hardly covers the entire spectrum of female sexuality having misinformation and crap."
Apparently you didn’t read the part up above about how I did not learn what happens when a woman is aroused or orgasms in three years of classes that are supposed to teach me about this thing.
"If it took you 15 minutes on Wikipedia to figure stuff out, why are you so mad? That’s hardly a waste of time."
Because I deserve to know about my own body, and when schools teach Sex Ed in any form, they are taking on the responsibility of teaching me that.
And yet, I learned absolutely nothing useful.
That’s a problem.
"Okay, okay. They don’t talk about female sexual reactions, and that’s kinda sexist."
You know what else is kinda sexist? Telling men that sex is great and women that it’s going to hurt and suck and also you’ll get pregnant and die.
What am I talking about, you say?
The hymen. You know, the thing that covers a woman’s vaginal opening and breaks and there’s blood and that’s how you can tell if your girlfriend is lying about whether or not you’re her first.
Well guess what, buddy-boy, you dumped that girl for no reason because that’s not actually what a hymen is and you’re also a jerk.
The hymen is a flexible membrane that partially covers the vaginal opening (usually in a sort of crescent shape when they are but a wee lass) and did you notice the word up there? ‘Flexible’? Do you know what that means? It means that if a woman is sufficiently aroused, it prolly ain’t gonna break. (wow do you think this myth has anything to do with the lack of knowledge we’re taught about female arousal???)
I mean dude you can shove a baby outta that thing and it returns to its original shape, you can’t tell if a woman is a virgin or not by the state of her hymen anyways. They can tear during exercise n stuff as well but there is literally not much of a reason why sex should be painful for girls and why you call it “popping the cherry”
OH WAIT MAYBE IT’S BECAUSE DUDES LIKE TO THINK THAT THEIR DICK HAS MAGICAL POWERS THAT FOREVER CHANGES A WOMAN’S LIFE AND SHE’S NEVER BE THE SAME AFTER YOU WRECKED THAT TIGHT LIL HOLE.
Well, fun fact, if she’s tight that means you kind of suck balls at the whole sex thing.
This isn’t just a matter of some people making a mistake about how women urinate. This is part of a long history of the suppression of female sexuality to the point that when you get a damn diagram of the vulva, apparently they don’t mark where the urethra is because man we don’t want to spend too much time talking about ladyparts frick who knows what’s hiding down there…

In my own 7th grade health class, and even in goddam 11th and 12th grade highschool biology, they left out female pleasure to such an extent as a thing, that I thought orgasm and penile ejaculation were synonymous.  That orgasm was only a penis-owning thing; that orgasm was when those with penises spewed sperm, not that it was a pleasurable climax, not that it was its own thing, not that people with vaginas could experience them.

You want to know how we were told about the clitoris? Through less than two sentences in seventh grade health class.  “This is the clitoris: it’s like a button and and can get harder”.  That’s it.  That’s it.

Can we talk about how dangerous this is, actually?

Yes. I said dangerous. Not because I’m a girl and I would like sex to be enjoyable thank you, but because we’re teaching women that a men have a right to have sex be enjoyable where we do not.

We’re teaching women that if she is uncomfortable or in pain, that is normal and she has no right to complain.

We’re teaching women to do something because it makes a man happy, regardless of how she feels.

We’re teaching women to be the submissive, receptive partner rather than an active participant.

I didn’t learn about a woman’s arousal or a woman’s orgasm simply because apparently that isn’t important.

It doesn’t matter if a woman is enjoying it.

It doesn’t matter if she likes what you’re doing.

We teach these things in a public setting, and we wonder why youth are legitimately confused about what constitutes rape, and why it is a bad thing that has a profoundly negative and possibly permanent effect on the victim.

I’m a 43 year old cis woman, and I actually learned something I didn’t know about my own anatomy from this post.

THAT IS SERIOUSLY FUCKED UP.

Sex is not about female pleasure. Females do not need to be pleasured in order to reproduce. Sex is for reproduction. A man experiencing pleasure is essential to reproduction because, without it, he will not ejaculate, thereby getting the woman pregnant so she can experience the highest form of womanhood: motherhood. Sex is supposed to hurt, at least the first time because of the sins of Eve. Women continue to pay for the sin of Eve through the pain of menstruation, the pain of giving birth, and through sex. But motherhood is a blessed state and therefore she should tolerate for the sake of bringing another life into the world which is the most beautiful and meaningful thing a woman can do with her life and her body.

Basically, men have been shit at sex since the dawn of time. And instead of focusing in any way on female pleasure, they have made up ridiculous myths about original sin, cherry popping and how virgins are far better than not-virgins.

The best way to keep a woman from knowing that female pleasure exists, much less desiring it, is to keep her from knowing her own body. If you are going to keep her from knowing her own body, and make it a mystery to her (I was told ‘you’ll find out about that on your wedding night’) and a woman demands nothing, than a man has absolutely no incentive to learn about female pleasure. Learning about female pleasure implies learning about female anatomy. Why the hell SHOULD a man (or woman) not know they don’t pee out of their vagina? Hell, most men/women don’t even know that the vagina is NOT the entire sex organ. That the outter lips, etc are NOT the vagina.

It’s HELLA importanntn to know you don’t piss out of your vagina so you can tell the difference between a yeast infection and a urinary tract infection. Which I didn’t find out about until my mid-twenties due to lack of even properly labeled anatomical drawings. Did you know you got three holes there? SURPRISE you have three holes. One of them is your urethra. When THAT shit is burning that is a urinary tract infection. When your vaginal hole is burning, then it is a yeast infection. If you want to rip your labia off due to excessive burning that has come on suddenly, go to the gynecologist, not the PCP.

This isn’t just about female pleasure, though it’d be nice if someone gave a shit about that. Guys sure as hell don’t. This is about actual medical issues. I was 25 before I found out that the pain I had on either side of my uterus was big fuckin’ cysts becuase I had never been to the gynecologist before because I was too embarrassed. Seriously. This shit matters.

And it doesn’t just matter to women* and I am tired of guys going eww gross don’t talk about that stuff. You are a big man who wants to wrestle crocodiles in disgusting typhoid-infested swamp water, I think you can deal hearing about whether my period is a low flow, or if it’s running like niagra falls and that’s why I need to lie here in bed and eat chocolate while I moan in agony and can’t fix your dinner tonight.

You need to know that yes, you can have sex during someone’s period, it won’t break anything. It’ll be messy as hell. Maybe it will relieve her cramping. But maybe it will just make her feel gross and she won’t want to. Do something freakish and talk to your woman*.

Wanna be a hero to a woman? Don’t be a piece of shit about picking up feminine products. When she’s feeling like absolute death, and her hormones are different than the other 3 weeks of the month (actually they’re more like a guy’s hormones when she’s on her period, so maybe that’s why she gets “bitchy” and aggressive—she’s acting like YOU, you little turd) . Understand what TYPE of tampon or pad she wannts you to pick up, and grab her some chocolate and something salty. Know that much about a woman’s cravings during her period to get her something to comfort her, and you will be a hero. She willl remember that shit later and if you wash some dishes too, while she’s not feeling well, she will probably blow you later.

When she talks about cysts or her excrutiating period, or a yeast/urinary tract infection, don’t go EWW don’t talk about that. These are actual things she’s worried about. There’re conditions that happen in that plumbing down there that range from annoying to agnoizing, can make sex painful (i mean, assuming you are being proper partner and are being attentive to her arousal and needs) and can lead to infertility. Many women* worry about this stuff. Or suffer from extreme periods. But we’re told no one wants to hear about it, eww yicky, and it’s the price of original sin, so women* don’t talk about how much pain and suffering our nether reigions put us through.

Comparatively, women have an Asten Martin with what should be finely tuned workings under the hoods, and men have tiny scooters with electric motors. ONE thing gets out of whack and suddenly we start functioning like shit, and there’s usually pain involved. A dude* may haveta fucking pedal for once.

oh yeah, and another thing while I am ranting: that shit you see in pornos? MOST women don’t like doing it. That fucking pearl necklace shit? You come near my neck with your dick and i”m going to bite your balls.

If you, as a man*, do not understand female anatomy* and female pleasure zones, YOU are doing it wrong. Women PUT UP with having sex with you. They don’t actually fucking enjoy it. While you’re taking a piss, they’re probably finishing themselves off.

And if YOU as a man, don’t know that if she hasn’t had sex in a while, she needs extra foreplay and her hyman stretched so it doesn’t fucking hurt, then you have failed at life and women only have sex with you out of pity or because THEY don’t know that sex is not supposed to hurt.

So YES, it’s kind of a big fucking deal that no one knows where the hell the pee-hole is. Because it’s endemic of a MUCH larger problem. But what the fuck do you care? you’re getting your rocks off while holding on to boobs instead of a fleshlight.

*not all women have vaginas, not all men have penises, my comments are primarily directed to cis het dudebros ignoring the plumbing and function of those with vaginas. individual milage may vary, tax and title due at signing.

allforhisgreaterglory:

psychoticpingouins:

48 years ago a girl said “oh fuck me” to her best friend while walking in the street, a guy who randomly passed by answered by “let me at least buy you dinner first”. I present to you my grandparents, in love since then and celebrating their 47 years of marriage today.

grandpa got game

I read this picturing my grandparents and then I realized that “48 years ago” was 1966, not, you know, 1943.  Still not okay with Tumblr making me feel old.  Still not convinced that most of you are even old enough to be online.

beesmygod:

who the fuck is talking shit about the xkit guy i will drive to your house and preform a colonoscopy on you with my boot

beesmygod:

who the fuck is talking shit about the xkit guy i will drive to your house and preform a colonoscopy on you with my boot

firesnaps:

MD Lab: Hello, yes, is the CDC 

CDC: Uh, yes. 

MD Lab: Listen, I don’t want to alarm you, but we found some small pox this morning. 

CDC: Wait— wait what? You found smallpox. Like a person infected with smallpox? How and what. 

MD Lab: No, no, no. Not a person. Just a vial of it. Well, Carl found it. Erm, a few vials. Multiple vials of smallpox are in play here. 

CDC: I’m trying to get past the “found” smallpox here. How do you “find an eradicated disease 

MD Lab: Yes, Carl found it. He was cleaning out an old storage room and he discovered a literal box of smallpox. We assume it’s been there for a while. Honestly, I didn’t even know that room existed until we found it while moving some cabinets the other wee— 

CDC: Is the threat contained? Did Carl follow your lab’s procedure on discovering potentially hazardous material? 

MD Lab: Erm. He sorta just…chucked it onto my desk. But it didn’t break! 

CDC: You’re telling me a lab worker threw a box of smallpox at you. 

Carl? What? No, he’s Bill in accounts’ son. He’s been cleaning here all summer

CDC: ….ffs. Who runs this lab 

MD Lab: …uhhhh, the FDA. 

Jul 9

everythingsbetterwithbisexuals:

One good thing about knowing how to take off a bra without taking off your shirt is that if someone gives you shit because they can see your bra strap, you can take off your bra right in front of them and say, “Whew, now that’s not a problem anymore, huh?”